74 Great George Carlin Quotes That Will Stand the Test of Time

Quotes by George Carlin

0
32
George Carlin Quotes Politics
George Carlin Quotes Politics

George Denis Patrick Carlin was birth in Manhattan, New York on May 12, 1937, and died on June 22, 2008. He was an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and social critic. George was recognized for his black comedy and thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and many taboo topics. I hope George Carlin Quotes That Will Give New Direction To Your Life.

He and his “seven dirty words” drama routine were primary to the 1978 United States Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. under which a 5–4 judgment declared the government power to control indecent material on the public airwaves. Generally considered as one of the most famous and influential stand-up comics of every time, Carlin was named by one newspaper to be “the dean of counterculture comedians.”

The beginning of George 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. From the 1980s, Carlin’s habits focused on the sociocultural objection of the American community. He often talked on present civic problems in the United States and ridiculed the overloads of American culture. Carlin was a constant comedian and guest host on The Tonight Show through the three-decade Johnny Carson era and hosted the first chapter of Saturday Night Live in 1975.

Carlin final HBO special, It’s Wrong for Ya, was shot shorter than four months before his passing from cardiac arrest. Patrick was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. In 2017, Carlin was Rolling Stone magazine listed second (back Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 largest stand-up comics of full time. In 2004, Denis placed second on the Comedy Central list of “Top 10 Comedians of U.S. Audiences”.

George Carlin Quotes On Life

George Carlin Quotes On Life
George Carlin Quotes On Life

“If a piece requires some specific inflection, I’ll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them alongside existing ideas, and eventually put a piece together.”

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”

“Regarding the Boy Scouts, I’m very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook”

“The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity”

“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”

“Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.”

“Think off-center.”

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

“Th”Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”e status quo sucks.”

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?”

George Carlin Self-Help Quote

George Carlin Self-Help Quote
George Carlin Self-Help Quote

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.”

“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”

“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”

“I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.”

“I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.”

George Carlin Quotes Technology

George Carlin Quotes Technology
George Carlin Quotes Technology

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”

“Always do whatever’s next.”

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.”

“In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.”

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

“When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”

“Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.”

George Carlin Quotes Politics

George Carlin Quotes Politics
George Carlin Quotes Politics

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.”

“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”

“Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.”

“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”

“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.”

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”

George Carlin Sports Quotes

George Carlin Sports Quotes
George Carlin Sports Quotes

“Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.”

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”

“When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal weaponry, as this country does; and racial hatred, which is part of our heritage as white Europeans; and then you add the volatile ingredient of “nothing”

“They call it the ‘American Dream’ because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.”

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”

“When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse”

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things”

“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”

“When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”

“The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out”

George Carlin Quotes On Love

George Carlin Quotes On Love
George Carlin Quotes On Love

“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”

“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose”

“You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic”

“I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes”

“If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball”

“He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.”

“In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing”

“A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt”

“I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that …”

“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little”

George Carlin Quotes Education

George Carlin Quotes Education
George Carlin Quotes Education

“We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket”

“Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day”

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.”

“There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting”

“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work”

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth”

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”

“love a man with a great sense of humor and who is intelligent – a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident – that is very sexy – but at the same time, he’s very kind to people.”

“Religion is just mind control.”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here