72 Inspirational Ron Swanson Quotes of All Time

Quotes by Ron Swanson

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ron swanson quotes about work
ron swanson quotes about work

Ronald Ulysses Swanson is a fictional role portrayed by Nick Offerman from the condition of comedy television sequence Parks and Recreation on NBC and created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur. Read 72 Inspirational Ron Swanson Quotes of All Time.

In this series, Ron is the director of the Parks and Recreation department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, and the direct superior of set protagonist Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) until Knope’s choice to the Pawnee City Council at the end of Season 4.

In demeanor, political philosophy and profession ethic, Knope and Swanson are antonyms: where Knope is sunny and outgoing, decidedly libel and continuously working, Ronaldis distant, and as a staunch libertarian, is a strong advocate for short government saying his belief that authority should be privatized and therefore believes that the parks field should not still exist.

Ron, who has an extraordinarily deadpan and stereotypical male character, actively works to make city hall less productive and dislikes interacting with the public. He loves meat, woodworking, hunting, whiskey, breakfast meals, and sex. Ron hates and fears his ex-wives, both called Tammy, one of whom is played by Offerman’s real-life wife, Megan Mullally.

He claims not to be involved in the personal lives of those about him but worries a great deal regarding his colleagues and has an extraordinarily healthy honor for Leslie.
Considered by series originators Michael Schur and Greg Daniels, He has a central role since the pilot episode of Parks and Recreation.

The Offerman had some data into the character origin, and some features of Ron’s character were inspired by the actor, like his affinity for woodworking and 16-year-old Lagavulin Single Malt scotch. The role was also partially inspired by a real-life Libertarian selected official in Burbank, California.

Offerman portrayal of Ron experienced critical acclaim. The character formed a cult following and is widely considered the breakout role of the series. Schur called Ron “our cast MVP.” He described by some experts as one of the best actors in a position comedy in decades and has called the choicest comedic cast on television since Cosmo Kramer of Seinfeld.

Ron’s platonic relation with Leslie has related to that of Mary Richards and Lou Grant in The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Offerman got several prize nominations for the performance, and won the TCA Award for Individual Achievement in Comedy, balancing with Ty Burrell of Modern Family.

Ron Swanson Quotes About Work

ron swanson quotes about work
Ron Swanson quotes about work

I’d wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.

I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm.

There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut.

I regret nothing. The end.

Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.

Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

I like saying ‘No.’ It lowers their enthusiasm.

Motivational Ron Swanson Quotes

Motivational Ron Swanson Quotes
Motivational Ron Swanson Quotes

The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. The best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

When I eat, it is the food that is scared.

There is only one bad word: taxes.

Child labor laws are ruining this country.

Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

Are you going to tell a man that he can’t fart in his own car?

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Ron Swanson Quotes About America

Ron Swanson Quotes About America
Ron Swanson Quotes About America

It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.

The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.

I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.

There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.

Friends: one to three is sufficient.

Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.

Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.

Breakfast food can serve many purposes.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

I was born ready. I’m Ron Fucking Swanson.

Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.

Ron Swanson Quotes Fishing

Ron Swanson Quotes Fishing
Ron Swanson Quotes Fishing

I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

TOM PUT ALL MY RECORDS INTO THIS RECTANGLE. THE SONGS JUST PLAY ONE AFTER THE OTHER. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT RECTANGLE.

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.

Ron Swanson Quotes Christmas

Ron Swanson Quotes Christmas
Ron Swanson Quotes Christmas

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he’s allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe…when he desires them.

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.

So you talked to Tammy? What’s it like to stare into the eye of Satan’s butthole?

There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.

Ron Swanson Quotes Never Half

Ron Swanson Quotes Never Half
Ron Swanson Quotes Never Half

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.

Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.

Turkey can never beat cow.

You had me at ‘Meat Tornado.

Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That’s ridiculous.

I’m not interested in caring about people.

Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait… wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga except I still get to kill something.

Ron Swanson Quotes About Art

Ron Swanson Quotes About Art
Ron Swanson Quotes About Art

Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.

One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.

No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here’s April and Andy’s: A hammer, a half-eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.

I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.

When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.

My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara…she goes by Tammy.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

Ron Swanson Quotes About Tammy

Ron Swanson Quotes About Tammy
Ron Swanson Quotes About Tammy

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?

Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.

On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.

Ann: Do you exercise?

If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults.

Ron Swanson Quotes About Nature

Ron Swanson Quotes About Nature
Ron Swanson Quotes About Nature

Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.

It’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.

[On bowling] Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.

When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

When I eat, it is the food that is scared.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.

IdiotsGive 100%ImpossibleMore Than 100%

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